Peggy (mom): Even though I can eat ANYTHING and EVERYTHING when I’m bingeing and I don’t really seem to have a “favorite” food like most people, there is ONE thing I particularly love that is on my “never going to have it again” abstinent list…….homemade chocolate chip cookies…preferably ones with few chips.
Now I know from my Big Book reading that it doesn’t matter if you’re put on an island without any fattening foods, if you’re not working the steps, you are going to succumb to your addiction at the first chance you get. There’s a story in the Big Book where a wealthy man actually goes to an island to make sure there’s NO alcohol at all available to him because afterall, if its not there, he can’t drink it, right? But after a while on the island and after getting “sober”…..you guessed it, he stops into the first bar he sees at the dock and takes a drink.
“Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do”. Alcoholics Anonymous, Fourth Edition, Pg 100
I’ve thought about this phenomena many times on my Overeaters Anonymous journey. When I first became abstinent of flour and sugar, I was speaking with a “program” friend (someone else in OA) and she said that she had a jar of peanut butter that was calling to her. She told her sponsor about it and the sponsor said she should NOT throw it away. I was new to OA so I could not for the life of me see why she would give my friend such stupid advice. “Throw it away!” I encouraged her……get rid of those temptations!!!!! But her sponsor was right……we are not dieters…we are not eating because we like food. Most of us are reaching for food because of the “feeling” it gives us or the emotion it stifles. She needed to focus on THAT emotion and work on it. She needed to reach out to her Higher Power for help. She needed to be…..spiritually fit.
So yes, after 1 1/2 years of relapse and 8 days of abstinence…I’m facing a big batch of homemade cookies for the second day and guess what? I have ZERO desire to have any of it. I have asked my Higher Power every day to keep me abstinent. I have thanked Him every day for the gift of abstinence. I have asked Him to give me the right words to help my daughter get through some troubling times (which can trigger me as well) and He has been there for me. For today, I am abstinent and as long as I stay spiritually fit and work the steps, I should expect to stay that way. I do my part and my Higher Power will do the rest. What a better deal than a batch of cookies!